arizona bound

jaxson and i will be flying out to arizona on april 28th till may 2, to see all the family, thought i would make a quick trip to az before i have to be back to work. i start work again on may 3 not really looking forward to it, it's been weird not working since feb 14th. it feels like forever, i really wish i didn't have to go back. but i got to do what i got to do, i thought i wanted to get out of the navy but now i am thinking about crossrating, switching jobs and staying in a little bit longer, only due to the economy, and its decent money. but if they don't have anything that i want to switch to that's open, than i will finish the 2 yrs i have left and get out. and use my gi bill to go back to school and do what..i haven't got a clue right now, but maybe i will have that figured out in 2 yrs we shall see.

pictures of my sweet boy

jaxson wide awake

visit from mom and dad

so mom and dad arrived yestarday to visit for awhile, and for mom to help me out with jax. it's been much appreciated, as i adjust to very little sleep. it's not too bad jaxson wakes up about every three hours, and he is usually up for an hour during the middle of the night. he is doing better about sleeping in his bassinet, as long as i wrap him all snug and tight he doesn't complain too much. he actually is quite a good baby, he doesn't fuss too much, only when he is hungry and tired. other than that he is a pretty content little guy. i got very lucky. jax had his first doctor's appointment yestarday with the on base pediatrican. he is now 5 lbs 13 oz and 19.5 inches long. so he is going to be long and skinny. i think the nurses measured him wrong when he was born cause he was 17 1/4 inches long and three weeks later he is 19.5 inches long, so how did he grow 2.5 inches in two weeks?? oh well, he has to go back in two weeks cause the doctor says he is growing satisfactory, he eats between 50 and 60 ccs, sometimes more depends on how much he ate at his last feeding. although when he wakes up in the middle of the night he tends to eat more, probaly to keep him asleep for longer. i just can't wait for when he sleeps 5 to 6 hrs a night, but that won't be for awhile. i am not looking forward to going back to work and leaving him..its going to be hard, but sadly its what i have to do.

finally home

so after two weeks jaxson is finally home, he came home yestarday afternoon. it took forever to get him discharged, first i had to wait for the occupational thearpist to come and feed him to see how he does. after that i had to wait for the doctor to come take a look at him and finally around 3:00 pm he was discharged and allow to go home. so far its been interesting. last night was a very long night, up till about 3:3o am i was able to sleep for 45 mins at a time and jax would wake up. than i from 3:30 to 6:00 i was able to sleep and than from 6:30 to 8:45 i was able to sleep. and i have had one nap today with him. he doesn't seem to content with his bassinent, and would rather sleep next to me in the bed. i know some people say you shouldn't do that, but for me its so much easier especially with feedings. right now he is in his glider sleeping, his feedings are going okay, he is eating around 30 to 35 ccs, he ate more in the hopsital, but i think he is still getting adjusted to being at home and not at the hospital. as long as he is gaing weight, its fine with me. he is now 19 inches long. he is long and skinny, but hopefully not for long. he seems fine with his carseat and the car. mmmmm...i think thats it for now.

more jaxson

so jaxson decided to be a little stinker today when i went in for his 1130 feeding, while changing his diaper, i walked to the sink to wet a towel and when i came back he had attempted to take out his feeding tube. than when i went back at 230, i changed his diaper and walked away to wash my hands and he got pissed cause i was taking to long. he is starting to become more vocal, cause normally he doesn't fuss or cry alot and now he is starting to. i think he is trying to say he wants to come home. i am wondering if they took out his feeding tube if he would be more prone to eat more than he does. cause he acts hungry when i come in, it's funny he looks like a little birdy. he moves his head around with his mouth open it's pretty cute. so i am keeping my fingers crossed for him possibly coming home this week. i can't believe on monday he will be two weeks old. oh i love that little boy so very much and can't wait to have him home. cause wih him being in the hospital i don't really feel like a mom, cause i can't really do anything...it's just really fraustrating..i don't know how my two sister in laws did it when they had babies in the nicu. soon though, i just keep hoping and praying and that's all i can do, but leave it up to jaxson and heavenly father.

just want to feel normal again

i am tired of the mood swings and the random crying sessions. i just want to feel normal again, i know i had a tough pregency and was stuck in the hospital for almost 5 wks and just had a baby and major surgery. and it's going to take awhile for my body to go back to normal, but i feel bad for dustin and him having to deal with me going thru the "baby blues" and the stress of having jaxson in the hospital. i know it will pass and that it will take some time, i just want and need him home. the only time i feel happy is when i get to spend an hour with jaxson at the hospital, and as soon as we leave the happiness goes away. but enough about that, so he doctor said jaxson will be in the nicu for another week. he needs to be able to take all his feedings from the bottle and not the feeding tube. the nurse said he does good in the morning and takes all from the bottle, but he gets tired thru out the day. today when we went he took 30 ccs from the bottle but had to have the rest thru the feeding tube cause he fell asleep and wouldn't wake up to finish the rest of the bottle. now we just have to wait for the little light bulb to turn on and for him to start sucking. i know he will get it in time just have to be patient.