ugggg

i feel like i am grasping at different strands in my life right now and i can't get a good hold on any. i am stressing majorly right now, dustin leaves for san diego november 21, so jaxson and i will be here in hueneme, by ourselves until we move down there in april when i transfer, so i have to worry about all the bills by myself, getting ready for our physical fitness assesment in 10 wks and making sure i am within weight standards come prt time. plus i have to start studying for e-5 exam, i take it in march and i want to make e-5 my first time up. so i feel like i have alot on my plate, plus i still have jaxson to take care of, and a house to keep up on, and dustin, and i feel like sometimes i don't get the support i need from him. i feel like i am always the one dealing with the baby and keeping the house clean, and when i ask him to help me with the house, he either puts it off until i do it myself, or gripes about it. i feel like i am his mom most of the time, its become very frustrating, and i don't know what to do. i feel like things are starting to fall apart and i don't know what to do to fix them or to keep them from falling apart, and it hurts.

more pictures to entertaine you

here are some updated pictures of jax, top one is him trying out his highchair...second eating peas, and last one is green beans..enjoy!! :)

6 month update

here is jaxson's 6 month update:

weight: 14lbs 2 oz

height: 26 inches (long and skinny)

eating habbits: 6 or 5 oz bottle every 3 or 4 hrs, eats cereal (barley) in the morning, and is now eating vegetables..doesn't like green beans, but likes peas, usually twice a day, in the afternoon and evening.

developments: now rolls on his tummy, babbles up a storm, grabs at his toys, likes putting his hands on your face and touching, likes to grab daddy's glasses off his face and throw them, likes to pull mommy's hair. loves to stand up, sits by himself for a minute or two. loves to be read to, and sung to. loves being rocked to sleep. likes peek a boo.

he doesn't go back to the doctor until he is 9 months, i can't believe these last 6 months have gone by so fast. he is not a baby anymore, he is turning into a little boy, and it makes me sad, but excited to see all the changes and developments he is doing. his personality is starting to come out and he is going to be one sweet little boy, but with a temper. i can't wait for him to start crawling and walking, and turning one, i am excited but scared at the sametime, and it makes me sad, cause the closer it gets to him being one, that means the closer i get to having to leave for san diego and eventually leaving for deployment and leaving behind my boys for 8 months...but i am not going to focus on that, i am going to take it one day at a time and enjoy all the time i have with him right now..i love him so much, i never realize how much one little person can have your heart in the palm of his hand. i love waking up to his smiling face every morning, he makes my day so much better when i get home from a hard day at work and i walk thru the door and he sees me and just smiles, it melts my heart. i can't believe how much i love this little guy, it's so unbelieveable being a mom, yes it is a hard at times and fruastrating, but i wouoldn't traded for anything in the world, and i can't wait to be able to have another, when the time comes and when heavenly father sees fit to bless dustin and i with another one.

let us not forget

let us not forget what happen 9 yrs ago today..always keep them in your thoughts, and to all the victims families my thoughts are prayers are with you today. to all you are serving beside my husband and i defending this country so this doesn't ever happen again..thank you!!

picture updates

here are some updated pictures of jaxson, he and i went to san diego last week, it was a much needed vacation for me. i took him to the zoo and to sea world he enjoyed, and i enjoyed getting to spend 8 days with him. we took him to the doctor last week cause he had a cold, when they weighed him he was 13 lbs 14 oz, but his 6 month appointment is next turesday so i will have updates and stats than. enjoy the pictures