it was all worth it

this sweet little face made it all worth it, i never really understood what mother's love was when my mom or other people would talk about. until march 15, 2010 arrived and my sweet jaxson came and i finally got to feel a mother's love. even before he arrived while he was cooking away, i made sure i did everything i could to keep him safe and grow. of course i was faced with some challenges, but that's apart life isn't it. while i sat in the hospital for 4 wks on pins and needles never knowing every time the doctor came in to check on me, if that would be the day my sweet little boy would arrive. i am very greatfull that heavenly father helped me keep him inside as long as i possibly could without indangering us both. i know at 32 wks when i first entered the hospital we both weren't ready, and i had hoped i could have kept him inside for another month, but that was not possible. i am just glad my sweet little man came safely and with little complications, and that he is growing every day. he brightens my day every time i see his sweet face, and the best feeling is waking up in the morning and seeing him laying next to me. or getting to breath in his sweet scent when i hold him. and i don't mind smelling like him and spit up as my wonderful husband would say is the best smell in the world. getting spit up or peed on or changing smelly diapers is not that horribale, waking up in the middle of the night i am getting use to, very little sleep don't think i will ever get use to that. having a baby who sometimes doesn't want to sleep when i would like him to...mmmm more than likely never get use to that. but with all that comes the wonderfull things, the smiles i am starting to get from him and the little coo's and just being able to sit and hold him and stare at him for hours if i allowed myself to is so worth it. i will be sad when i have to go back to work next monday and leave him with the babysitter, but being able to come home and snuggle with him will be worth it. i just can't wait for the next one..that won't be for another couple of years (2) to be exact when i get myself out of the navy. but that will be the best day to be able to add to our family. mmmm i just love being a mom..i waited my whole life for it and it has finally happen and i couldn't have asked for anything better.